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My story of alienation from my daughter.

Hi I’m Sean I am a father to a beautiful daughter which I haven’t seen in two years now. So let’s begin with a bit of background of my current position on this I suffer with various mental and llnesss that have pretty much ruled my entire life, I learned to cope with these and push forward. So after a breakdown in a relationship with the mother of my child who was to say the very least emotionally unstable and I suffered physical and mental abuse throughout the relationship so i ended it. Contact with my daughter at this time was daily and she lived locally less than 4 miles away so I could go n spend time with her as much as I wanted I used to baby sit while her mother was out at parties. then the mother of my child decided I was a n the best interest of my child to be moved away from her family and basically everyone she knew to a very large city that was about 45 miles away she knew nobody, this still baffles me as to why she decided this was best. Then I was told not asked told that my contact would then be every other weekend so m daughter went from having seeing her dad everyday to every 2 weeks just like that, now I don’t mind driving anywhere to see my girl but it can be tough and almost impossible sometimes due to my mental health. I payed maintenance on time every week without fail I was also working in a highly demanding job so I was getting an increase in stress which didn’t help my mental health at all, infact I became extremely ill from n this but was still expected to drive in snow rain didn’t matter to her mother also he mother refused to help with dropping her off too eventually I was deemed not fit for work but when I tried to communicate with her mom to discuss these changes to my life I was met with ridicule and verbal abuse and threats that I wouldn’t be allowed to see my daughter cus in her words I am a fucked up wasteman then after months n months of trying to keep her mother happy and myself well. I was told in a msg that I wouldn’t be allowed to see my daughter I still have all the messages saved with all the names i was called n all the threats. So can continued to try a contact her mother and every single phone number email address was blocked as soon as she heard my voice I think I got about 19 numbers blocked! Then I find out she is getting married to a man she has not known for longer than 6 months she then marries said man in under a year of knowing him my concerns were met with abuse once again and threats of physical violence from said husband in which I responded by knocking their front door the following day, n yes I know this was not a great idea but i never got any threats again. Now this is detrimental to my mental health because I can become emotionally unstable due to threats this is because my anxiety and PTSD put me in fight or flight mode and this has caused trouble my whole life. Then after a year of blocked numbers I get contact via my daughters nan who was mostly on my side because she knows the importance of have n a father around. I had my daughter stay with me on and off at her mother’s leisure which was constantly used as a weapon. I got into a relationship and this caused her mother to then increase the pressure on me for maintenance which I paid without failer even tho I was in Benifits not allowed to work she knew this and knew that I had to pay fuel to pic up drive back the drop of and drive back it cost me about eighty pound every 2 weeks I was receiving a Benifits of hundred and seventy pounds every two weeks so the remainder was used on food leaving me with no expendable money. This caused my mental health to decline inturn caused pressure between me and my partner and finally caused us to split. At which point I became homeless and lived in my car for several weeks until I managed to get a roomshare In a house. Ofcause all my advances to see my daughter was blocked and she was not allowed to see me. So in the end I finally got flat through being In supported living for mental health for just under 18 months after a mental breakdown which has left me a shell of the man I was. I’ve continued to attempt to contact her mother but she moved house without telling me and has refused point blank to even acknowledge me. I tried to get support n help to go through the courts but I couldn’t not get legal aid and I just cannot afford to pay the solicitor to even right a letter n that’s even if I can find were they have moved too. I plan to turn up at my daughter’s school IV been advised not too but I have no options left it litrely just me now my parents past away n I only met my dad and sistes 4 years ago but they don’t want to know me they have family and a life. so I’ve decided to do this I don’t have a good education so I’m sorry for how incorrect this is. If there is anyone having similar issues with mental health or alienation from your children I would like to offer my support anytime night or day. 💚